Your spouse is your only true partner when it comes to your personal credit score. Whether or not you live in a community property state, after a few years of marriage, your credit score and your spouse’s will start to mirror each other. Keep this in mind when you marry: Emotional or personal problems aren’t always a sign of financial troubles…but they can suggest general instability. And divorce is one of the major causes of damaged credit in the U.S. For these reasons, even if your marriage is blissful, it’s a good idea for both spouses to keep some separate credit and bank accounts. But separate accounts shouldn’t mean lots of money secrets. If you’re married, be prepared to face questions; and be prepared to ask questions. It’s amazing what can turn up in a collection call—things like gambling debts and extramarital affairs. Other family members and friends will only affect your credit as much as you let them—by co-signing loans, making them authorized users on credit cards or becoming their partners in business. If you have a some financial resources and a strong credit score, the best strategy for helping family will probably be to loan as much cash as you can. But avoid co-signing for loans or making partnerships.

If you're ready to make the loan to a friend, acquaintance or family member, the formal document needs to be made. A clearly-written promissory note is a contract and should be fully enforceable in any court or arbitration hearing. And, even more important, a promissory note clearly distinguishes your role as a lender and not a partner, trustee or co-signer. A well written promissory note should state: the date the loan was made; the name and address of the lender; the name and address of the borrower; the city and state in which the loan was made; the amount of money loaned; the due (or maturity) date when the loan is to be repaid; any conditions under which the loan can be called for repayment before its due date; the schedule of any payments to be made during the term of the loan; the nature of the payments (interest only, interest-plus-principal, balloon); the total amount due, including interest and principal; whether the note is transferrable and under what conditions it can be.

Invariably, at some point, a family member will ask you for financial help. This might be a sibling asking you to co-sign for car loan...a child asking for help buying a first house...or a parent desperate to get out of a bad debt.

If you see divorce clouds on the horizon, or if you have just separated from your spouse, you'll want to establish credit in your own name-especially if that spouse has money problems. In fact, it's a good idea to establish your own credit, even if your marriage is strong. In some cases, the unexpected death of a good spouse can cause just as much havoc as a divorce from a bad one. Open your own bank account. This will be an account that your spouse does not have access to. Open your own individual credit card accounts. Get a copy of each of your credit reports, so you know where you stand individually, and so you know how much of your credit history overlaps with your spouse's.

The best way to avoid ugly surprises, like overdue debt, is to separate your credit when you divorce-or, better yet, as soon as you separate.

While your creditors don’t care who was assigned a debt in a divorce, the courts certainly do. And you can take your former spouse back to court for not paying a debt that was assigned to him or her. That’s what Faith Geyer did when her ex-husband, Dennis Geyer, failed to pay—as directed—on their joint Chase Bank credit card account. At the time of the divorce, Faith and Dennis had two credit card accounts with Chase. Dennis had opened an individual account in May 2001; and the couple had opened a joint account several years earlier. At the time of the divorce, Faith had removed Dennis’ name from the joint account. But the court assigned the debt to Dennis. He didn’t pay, which is why the former couple wound up back in court. Dennis insisted that he shouldn’t have to pay for debt he did not create. But the court was clear on this matter: The trial court is provided with broad discretion in deciding what is equitable upon the facts and circumstances of each case. While Dennis did not have to pay for any debt Faith amassed after the divorce, he was ordered to pay the $1,227.75 that had been the outstanding balance at the time of the decision.

It’s fairly common for the judge to divide up the debt during a divorce, or assign a particular debt to one spouse or the other. If you’re the spouse who did not receive this lovely parting gift, you may think you’re off the hook for the bill. But you may not be. If this was a joint account—or if you live in a community property state—you may be liable for the debt, no matter what the judge said. “Your divorce agreement does not change your obligations to your creditors,” according to Capital One, a major credit card provider, “and you will be held accountable should your spouse fail to make a payment on a bill that he/she agreed to pay in your name.” Unless you and your ex speak honestly about these financial matters, you may never know there’s an issue until creditors come after you because your former spouse is late with the payments.

Divorce is a major cause of credit related financial problems in the U.S. Dorothy Allen never saw her breakup coming. By the time her husband left her to live with a younger woman, he'd racked up $50,000 in credit card debt-much of it spent wining, dining and traveling with the other woman.

Family therapists agree that a successful marriage is based on honest communication. On the other hand, most divorce attorneys will tell you that spouses go to incredible lengths to deceive one another.

Like many people who start small businesses, Amy Lee had financed her start-up with her personal credit cards. When cash flow got tight, she simply accepted another of the pre-approved offers that filled her mailbox on an almost daily basis. By the time she was able to sell her company to a local competitor, Amy found herself with $40,000 in credit card debt remaining. She was planning to be married in about a month. The invitations had been sent, and everything was progressing according to schedule. But Amy’s fiance was not pleased about inheriting what he perceived as a lot of debt. The couple lived in a community property state, so he insisted that she declare bankruptcy before their wedding day. Was this a wise move? The bankruptcy definitely affected Amy’s credit rating in a dramatic way. And it would stay on her credit report for 10 years. But her husband’s credit was so good that the couple was able to purchase two new vehicles based on his credit score alone. After about four years of rebuilding her credit, Amy’s scores also had risen enough for the couple to qualify together for a mortgage at a very good interest rate, and they were able to buy their first home.